Frustration

I have my math exam next Wednesday and I'm really getting frustrated. I always aim for good grades, but in math, it's too hard for me. I'm not usually the type of person to just give up, to act like I don't care. Reading the first few pages and really concentrating and putting my efforts on it, writing down numbers and really focusing on understanding, and the result, a mess of numbers on my paper which don't make any sense. And the worst part, I actually have no clue what I've been writing down, though I had tried my best trying to understand it. Or, if I start understanding a bit of what I'm doing, in few seconds I just get lost.

Feeling

A
picture
tells
more
than
thousand
word.

Moving On

Yesterday there was a dance performance, which was probably the last one for me. But you never know, maybe I'll still find myself dancing one day (at least in my dreams). Dancing is a sport which divides opinions of why people do it. Some do it to keep themselves fit, some to express themselves and some do it just for fun. I watched the movie Step Up 3 yesterday, and it had the question "Why do you dance?" several times. I started thinking about myself. Why do I dance? Does it really have a great effect on me? I counted the years I've spent dancing and to my amazement, I've been doing it about 8,5 years. Modern dance, a little bit of breakdance, a little bit of salsa and merengue, I think they are all part of me now. Dancing makes me feel like being a part of something. I have no clue what that something is. I feel like it's a force that keeps me going, in a way, keeps me moving on, along with the music. It takes my mind in to a fascinating place, I'd almost like to call it heaven. It's peaceful and my thoughts are only able to concentrate in dancing and how could I make my movements more fluent and gentle. Dancing is having no worries, it's getting to a destination by hard work, letting your body go with the flow and living in the moment.

The last week, I was on cloud nine

I didn't remember the feeling of joy, which comes along with a true friend. Not seen in a year, we could still start talking right where the discussion had ended a year ago, how amazing. Life surprises my thoughts the most when I'm not expecting it. Like it did now, again. The movie we watched wasn't a laugh a minute, the drizzle during our walk in Helsinki wasn't that pleasant, and starting to talk Spanish suddenly wasn't a piece of cake for me, but this lesson which life just gave me, wasn't about the ups and downs. It was about living in the moment, I feel like I finally learned it. Even though the sun wasn't shining all the time, I can say that I was happily living every moment with great delight. It's a treasure having a friend from a different country and having a possibility to meet her in my home country. It was a pleasure introducing my culture and seeing the look on her face when she marveled the craze of Finn's when going swimming when the temperature was only a few degrees, the fact that we were actually eating reindeer (and it wasn't a joke of my father), how we open the milk cartons, and also a competition of sitting in a digger in a mall aroused some wondering. I hope she enjoyed her visit as much as I did.