Wanting to say a thousand words, but only a few come out from your mouth

I used to write a diary. I haven't written in a year. The last time I wrote, was in Ecuador. It used to help me, to keep my thoughts in some kind of order. I can't now even open one, or actually I did. Yesterday, I read a page about our trip to Mexico in 2003. Then, I didn't tell my diary a lot about my feelings. The newest one, I don't want to read it, I don't want to even touch it. Maybe some good stories exist there also, but the amount of tears that have fallen from my eyes when writing there, I know, it's alot. Writing a blog is different, actually I like the feeling of writing here. I don't really care if people read this or not. It's something that helps me in a way, that I don't really know how to explain.